Fig Newtons

Only two of them. That isn't even enough to share. They are too crunchy to break apart equally though.

Fake fire

The donor said they paid big bucks for this art in Kayenta. I think it is neat but what would you do with it? It looks like a prop for a play.

Fart extinguisher

I like that name better than air freshener. You KNOW that the air fresheners in your bathrooms are really fart extinguishers.

Beer finder

Never lose your beer again. The sound is a classy belch and satisfied moan that will be heard across the house when you push the button. In the second picture, he has a wheelbarrow for his beer gut.

Hat... again

This one is made with real animal parts. Fur and leather. It was also shedding.

Cat plaque

I always laugh at these. Comes in 2 convenient styles!

Insert fortune

Funny shirt advertising a mattress company on the back. It said something like - Whatever you do in bed, we have the right mattress for you.

Fly swatter

Making pest hunting into a fun game.

Men

Thought provoking and deep. ;)

Important medical information

I flipped through this book and it is pretty funny. The answer is that bodies follow the female template, as an embryo, until 6 weeks. Then the male sex chromosomes kick in. See, females aren't always late!

Pig Plea

Bacon! But he loves you! Bacon.

Ole'

It is missing the letter N. So it is re-purposed into a different word. "We celebrate the birth of Christ. Ole'!"

Handerpants

I saw these as a possible gift you could give on Facebook. I guess the donor didn't really want them because they hadn't been opened. We took care of that. I found a sexy underwear model to pose for me. I also like the night blogging use idea. Haha!

Sexy pocket 3.0

This one is actually a lovely ladies purse.

Toilet ashtray

Men need to find their own.

Used urinal

Blech. Sometimes I wonder if I should get hazard pay.

Tooth fairy nightmare

This is disgusting. They don't even have gold on it! It looks like a painful extraction with those mondo twisty roots.

 

Yum

Shoelace jewelry

Aglets are still on it! (Thanks Phineas and Ferb)

Eyeglass holder

Love the eyeballs

Foot holder

It's not big enough! Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking when they create stuff. I'm sure they had a perfectly logical reason to make this little pocket and then put "My Foot" on it. I just want to know what that reason was.